Monday, July 4, 2016

Being Humble

“My dad always reminds me to stay humble and honest in whatever I do. He believes in integrity and equality and insists I follow the same path.”

Dear dad, the world today is different. A lot of things changed and a lot of people as well. Today, nobody follows the path you always insist me to and staying quite doesn’t work here. In your days, truth was respected and rewarded; there was a healthy working environment.
In my case I am suffocating dear daddy. I am still following your words. I am humble and listen to whatever my superior says. I don’t talk back or disobey. I am trying to be a good person here but I think I am loosing myself. 

I do all my work with dedication; no dues, no pending work and yet I am never recognized or acknowledged. I don’t say anything, because I respect your words. People look down on me, embarrass me and never respect my feeling. I feel suffocated and trapped, yet I don’t spit a single word.

My emotions are strangling me. I have never spoken anything and kept it inside me I’m going to die. Dear daddy, how did you manage such a thing? How could you not fight back against wrong doings? Or perhaps you weren’t bullied. Perhaps you were respected more for being obedient and rewarded for your good work. 

It’s getting difficult. Holding in and not being able to speak out is killing me. I am loosing grip over my life, and living with a heart as weak as mine is worse. Should I keep going? 

No matter how I try, I cannot gather courage, to say ‘No’ or say ‘This is wrong’. I’m struggling to open up and fight for my rights. Dear Apa, I think I am failing. I’m failing as a good daughter, a good friend and as a good human. I think I’m just going to die with that.

I am fighting with my emotions; please give me the strength to endure everything; give me the courage to keep going and not give up on this beautiful life you gave me. I respect you still with all my heart.

Forever Your Daughter: With Love and Respect

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