Thursday, September 17, 2015

Mysterious Quest

Memories are fading away. The more I try to understand people, more is my identity fading away.
My existence as a complete human being is becoming vague day by day. I’ve started forgetting things and the very reason of my existence. I’ve become careless, insensible and forgetful. Everything around me, the air I breathe, the place I work, people I call friends, everything seem so new. 

My head spins, not because I am starving or sick, but just simply, the reason unknown. I feel giddy.
People come and go, laugh, talk and even share secrets. I remain numb, lost in a world so different. I feel my heart race fast; I feel the blood flow through my veins, the warmth. Nothing exists in this world of mine. There’s just me, nobody to love or hate, nobody that can harm or hurt me. 

Emotions are disappearing. I don’t feel happy or sad or pained. There’s nothing that please me, nothing that makes me want to lead a normal life. There can never be anything which could bring me back from this solitude.

I feel surrounded by aliens. Nobody I can talk to, nobody to hear me out.
Is it me or is it the people around? Is it just my lame thought or the universal rule of life? Everything is so enigmatic, so rare and so dense for anyone to ever unravel.

Nothing ever matters or bothers me. There’s a world so different and so unique from this. There’s a world that takes in people like me, people neither sane nor unsound. There’s this place I’d want to live, so far and so out of the world. 

I am different? No I am not! 

I am a wanderer in quest of the so-called happiness, or should I say “Life” everyone is seeking for. I am just an ordinary being, too ordinary for people to even remember. 

My memories are fading away, good, bad or the worse. I feel dizzy, numb and so inhuman like. I am losing my identity and everything that defines me (my existence). There’s nothing I can do to recover what is lost, and there is perhaps nothing I can do to save what is left of me, some memories worth saving for.

Is it the doom of my being or yet another beginning? My head hurts to even think of anything else, to unfold this mysterious quest of life.