Memories are fading
away. The more I try to understand people, more is my identity fading away.
My existence as a
complete human being is becoming vague day by day. I’ve started forgetting
things and the very reason of my existence. I’ve become careless, insensible
and forgetful. Everything around me, the air I breathe, the place I work,
people I call friends, everything seem so new.
My head spins, not
because I am starving or sick, but just simply, the reason unknown. I feel
giddy.
People come and go, laugh,
talk and even share secrets. I remain numb, lost in a world so different. I
feel my heart race fast; I feel the blood flow through my veins, the warmth.
Nothing exists in this world of mine. There’s just me, nobody to love or hate,
nobody that can harm or hurt me.
Emotions are
disappearing. I don’t feel happy or sad or pained. There’s nothing that please
me, nothing that makes me want to lead a normal life. There can never be
anything which could bring me back from this solitude.
I feel surrounded by
aliens. Nobody I can talk to, nobody to hear me out.
Is it me or is it the
people around? Is it just my lame thought or the universal rule of life?
Everything is so enigmatic, so rare and so dense for anyone to ever unravel.
Nothing ever matters or
bothers me. There’s a world so different and so unique from this. There’s a
world that takes in people like me, people neither sane nor unsound. There’s
this place I’d want to live, so far and so out of the world.
I am different? No I am
not!
I am a wanderer in quest
of the so-called happiness, or should I say “Life” everyone is seeking for. I
am just an ordinary being, too ordinary for people to even remember.
My memories are fading
away, good, bad or the worse. I feel dizzy, numb and so inhuman like. I am losing
my identity and everything that defines me (my existence). There’s nothing I
can do to recover what is lost, and there is perhaps nothing I can do to save
what is left of me, some memories worth saving for.
Is it the doom of my
being or yet another beginning? My head hurts to even think of anything else,
to unfold this mysterious quest of life.
